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Cheer Me Up

A Match Fixed in Heaven
The Pope met with the College of Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel.

"Your holiness," said one of the Cardinals, "Mr. Netanyahu wants to determine whether Jews or Catholics are superior, by challenging you to a golf match." The Pope was greatly disturbed, as he had never held a golf club in his life.

"Not to worry," said the Cardinal, "we'll call America and talk to Phil Mickelson. We'll make him a Cardinal; he can play Netanyahu. We can't lose!" Everyone agreed it was a good idea.

The call was made and, of course, Phil was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Phil reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of his success in the match. "I came in second, your Holiness," said Phil.

"Second!" exclaimed the surprised Pope. "You came in second to Benjamin Netanyahu?"

"No," said Phil Mickelson, "second to Rabbi Woods."

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